


Vivid Blue

by Connor_Murphys_Depression



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Drinking, Graphic Depictions of Drug Use, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manipulative Characters, Mentions of Suicide, Overdose, Slow Burn, Soulmates AU, sexual content in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 15:44:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11694816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Connor_Murphys_Depression/pseuds/Connor_Murphys_Depression
Summary: You learn from the moment you're old enough to love that there is a world out there you may never see.When you are in middle school you learn that with age comes the ability to see color but this is only if you meet your 'soulmate'.When you touch their skin for the first time, your world will explode with astounding color.Almost everyone finds theirs in high school or in their 20s but some don't until they're older.Some never do.But here's the catch...When your partner dies or gets closer to dying the color leaves along with them.





	Vivid Blue

Connor Murphy had accepted that long ago. He'd never find 'the one'. Never be able to hold onto them and see the brilliance of the world around him. But that suited him just fine. He was the school shooter. The kid who couldn't and likely never would see color. It was his Senior year and he still dressed himself in what he knew was _black._

 

He walked the halls with disdain for the happy couples around him. How was he supposed to be happy in this sickeningly sweet cliche world. He just wanted to get high and pass out in the park again. Maybe if he was lucky he wouldn't wake up. He wore his shades inside for the 3rd day in a row, not bothering to give much of a shit about anyone in the hall. He shoved his way through, paying no mind to anyone he had knocked aside. Fuck this place, he was leaving.

 

His eye then caught on the glint of glasses and a stupid grin. _Kleinman_. That fucking asshole. Wait who the fuck was he even walking with? The kid looked about ready to hyperventilate. He couldn’t remember where he’d seen the kid before but whatever. He violently shoved past them without a word. He had places to go.  “Connor what the SHIT???” . His perfectly painted nails glinted as he turned around and decided to feed in to shut him up “I'LL STOP PUSHING YOU AROUND WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SPEAK,KLEINMAN”

. He then shoved the other kid to the ground , ”Find better fucking friends,kid” He snarled.   
  


Connor stalked out, ignoring the pleas and begging from the boy who he’d shoved  “I’m sorry..please don't leave I um.. I like your nail polish…??”  The whimpering student in question desperately made an attempt to keep the angered boy here. Connor snickered sarcastically to himself “Real fucking funny.” To which the boy , now collecting himself off the ground winced at.  No one ever complimented anything he did,so it must've been fake.  Not like he gave much of a shit really.  He’d never met the guy. He got out to the parking lot and slid into his car, not bothering with the seat belt. He floored it all the way to his dealer’s house and stumbled in. He felt... Strange.There was a weird tingle in his chest that he couldn’t seem to shake off.  ‘ _What the fuck is going on? Whatever_.’

 

He kept his shades on . He could hardly see in that dark house but that was fine. He kicked aside the shitty throw rug and sunk into the couch. He picked at his nails as he sat on the couch waiting.  The black showed in great contrast to his pigmentless skin. He was almost albino but honestly it was likely due to the drugs he consumed on a daily basis. He then leaned back in the seat, joints cracking a bit as Chris came out of the back room, joint in hand as per usual.   
  


,”Alright Murphy, pay up. What’s it gonna be this time, money or lip service? “ Chris gave him an obnoxious kissy face before waving the needles in his face.  
  
Connor snarled softly under his breath and mumbled,” I have fucking money, and just cause I got desperate last time doesn’t mean I will again,fuckwad.  Give me my goddamn dope, _Christopher_ ”  
  
“Aw Connor, you’re no fun~” He raised an eyebrow , then, his tone dropped 

And, it’s _Chris ,_ you stupid druggie” Chris shot a cringe worthy grin that of Jacob fucking Sartorius. 

Connor snatched the bag from the fuckboi and gave him a look that read as _‘I swear to god I’m going to leave you drugged in your basement with your own products one day’_   
  
“Awww Connor c'mon, you know you looove meee” The shorter man cooed at him, batting his eyelashes. Connor scoffed and rolled his eyes, rolling his sleeve up. He pulled a tie from his pocket and wrapped it around his upper bicep.  
  
“I’d sell you to satan for a half a corn chip and watch you choke on it.” He replied with a wink, words grumbled incoherently as he used his teeth to secure the binding. 

 

“Coonnnooor” Chris whined at him, flopping beside him on the couch in his lap. ,”Too bad we aren’t soul mates, that mouth of yours makes me see pink Murphy~”  
  
“Eat shit and die Christopher” Connor snickered and placed the needle to his vein. He slid it in and pressed the base of the syringe a little further than usual, just needing the high to come quicker.  He sighed, leaning his head back against the couch as the room grew a bit fuzzy and the drugs invaded his mind. It all seemed so pointless… He pushed the base further, injecting just a bit more. 

 

He didn’t hear when Chris told him to  “slow the fuck down”. He was too lost in that ever present feeling of hopelessness. Before he knew it the entire contents of the syringe were flooding his veins. It took away his senses, enabling the world to fade to black.  Everything sounded like he was listening in on a conversation underwater. Somewhere along the way his shades fell off and the first thing he saw was a kaleidoscope of vivid blues. Like the ocean had been trapped within the eyes of the angelic boy who seemed to be holding him.  ‘ _ Am I dead? No. I can’t be…. No way heaven would take me… so how did this angel find me… where am I?’ _ He would have pondered this further but the inky blackness overtook him once again, washing over his vision and dragging him down.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story so far, please leave a comment and we will try and update as soon as possible


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